My ideal of beauty was smooth, and curvy. Slender forms, and supple flesh, most unlike my bony, sharp and straight lines. I needed something different. My self esteem was a bit low, so my self image was not that strong at the time. I knew a creature that was for the most part my complete opposite would do me well. I needed a Goddess to take my mind off things.

I have to say I did quite well, in my opinion. There she was all nervous and shy. Floating in the firmament. Her pensive smile immediately owned me, and I was in love. What can I say, I didn’t feel that I had all that much to give, so I gave her the only thing I had, my power to create. I was so satisfied with my little wonder, I didn’t feel that I needed it any more.

When I gave her my only gift to give, she looked deep into my eyes, and kissed me. I had never felt so much love before. I was smitten.

With a giggle and a wink she was off. Suddenly she began to wave her arms, and there were elements, and atmospheres. Amused by her own actions, she continued on. Creating stars, and planets. At first I was so amused. Proud of my little girl. I would do my best to follow her here and there as she created the universe. Water, creatures, birds, people. I would say, “Amazing!” and “Well Done!” but she was so busy. I could hardly keep up. All I wanted was to feel her in my arms again. Hold her tight and share our love, but she was so busy.

It seemed that the more she created, the more there was for her to do. I would follow, lay in her fields as she stood above on the hill waving her arms. Creating moons, clouds, rain, and sky. I would look up longing for her to just take a break and join me, but that never seemed to happen.

I grew frustrated. I had to find a way to appeal to my love. I still had some power of influence left. I decided to do my best and join her. Perhaps that would get her attention. I chose one of the little spheres, and thought I’d impress her. It had many of the elements I would need. I took the little creatures there, and began to organize them. I helped them gain knowledge. I helped them build cities, organize systems and governments. I helped them invent machines. I had them worship the Goddess and erect temples to her. I suddenly knew the joy she felt in creation, and I lost myself for a brief time to it. I was proud of my little place, and I could not wait to show it to her when I was done.

I looked around to find her, and since it had been a while since we had last seen one another, she stopped for a moment to say hello. I asked her, “If you have a moment, will you come with me? I have a surprise to show you.” Amused at my offer, she accompanied me to my little project. I held the small sphere up to her face proudly, but her face was not one of joy. She seemed upset. I said, “Look what I’ve done with one of your little worlds!” But all she saw was struggle, pain, pollution, war, and disease. She gave me a look of horror, and turned away from me in disgust. I pleaded, “What’s the matter? Isn’t it marvelous?” while she ran away.

I was hurt. I had failed, and my efforts had only made matters worse between us. No matter how hard I tried, I could not make amends. My sad desperation and loneliness grew to anger. Over time I began to hate her, and all that she created. Most of all, I hated the little world that made her hate me. My hatred grew over time, until there was no turning back. We had become enemies and she avoided me at all costs. I became vengeful.

I still had power over the little world I helped to organize. I decided that I would do my best to have all her creatures forget her. I would wipe out her name. I created patriarchy, and made them slowly forget the Goddess. I had all families follow the man’s name. I had them celebrate male births, and mourn the birth of female children. I did everything in my power to make her little creatures forget her. In some places I made it punishable by death to erect images of her. And over time, I accomplished my goal.

I threw this little world so far out of balance, it stood as a monument of my hatred. The entire universe could feel the sadness. Millions of little creatures, unsure why, deep down inside, they feel that all is not right. That something is terribly wrong. So much confusion, lost hope, and dashed dreams. This seemed to have the effect I desired. It hurt the Goddess, and reduced her powers and enthusiasm. It took her motivations away. Eventually, I never saw her again.

So this is the creation myth my little people did not know. Everything that I handed them was a lie. To make amends, I felt like I had to tell this tale in an attempt to set things right. Now that she is gone my anger is not so strong. I am sad, and I am still lonely. I understand why every living creature feels deep down that all is not right with this world. This is my attempt to make a start in the right direction. I cannot believe I let it go this far. But all I can say is, for the most part it’s out of my hands. Now that you know all this, it’s up to you.