Vinnie Barbarino as Kylo Ren

Vinnie Barbarino as Kylo Ren

Spoilers galore, Star Wars The Force Awakens review:

A good bad guy is what makes a movie great. Some of the best are, the Wicked Witch of the West, Colonel Kurtz, Hannibal Lecter, Frank from Blue Velvet, and Darth Vader to name a few. My biggest leap with the latest Star Wars movie was the Sith Lord guy. He was even weaker than Darth Maul who didn’t put up much of a fight either. I left the movie not remembering his name, having to search for Kylo Ren on Google. First up, he looked like Vinnie Barbarino, and I had a hard time not imagining him in a black leather Sweat Hogs coat, which was very distracting. He wasn’t bad ass enough, and this is why: When brought bad news, he destroys his own ship in an embarrassing tantrum instead of slaying the messenger. I think the Resistance should have considered planting a bad news messenger to constantly bring him bad news and have the Great Sith Lord Barbarino destroy the ship for them. “I am sorry sir, the droid got away again…” Smash – Crash – Bang – Boom… plus who would wear such a stupid mask if it was not a life support system? Insecure much? All image, no substance. Bad bad guy. Bad!

Also, J.J., good buddy,  a longer mourning period for Han Solo. I want to see Chewbacca more upset, or a quick Wookie death rite with Chewy burying or burning some personal item… not just happy and horny to fly off with Rey… (although I can understand his excitement), the viewers needed more time to feel the loss of Solo, the most interesting human of the entire franchise. Give us time to cry… the pacing seemed off there.

Thanks Disney for the new Star Wars The Force Awakens movie. I had fun, and I want to see it again and again, already.